Standing at the Edge of the World
by TheNewIdea
Summary: Carter Pewterschmidt stood on top of the Pawtucket Brewery ready to commit suicide. Bonnie, Jillian, and Brian seek to the do the same. When fate compels them to postpone, they form a suicide pact, that no one is to kill themselves before Valentine's Day. Easier said than done. Based on A Long Way Down. Rated T for black comedy, satirical depictions of the media, and some drama.
1. Prologue

Prologue

The one sure way you can tell when a man has reached his breaking point is when he's standing on the roof of a building with full intention of becoming road kill. Although another reason could've been that he was wearing a yellow suit that made him look like a gay banana. Either way you go, it was obvious to everyone who saw him on top of the Pawtucket Brewery, that Carter Pewterschmidt, one of the richest men in town, had reached a breaking point.

There was a reason why Carter looked like a gay banana. His wife, Babs, had accidentally ruined all of his suits in the laundry one evening thanks to a rouge red wine stained shirt that had gotten mixed in unknowingly. This was Carter's last suit, a relic from the 1970's, a dark and rather interesting period in his life, full of experimental drugs, a good bit of sex, and a weapons trade gone horribly wrong. But the suit, in all of its ugliness, was not the reason why Carter was on the roof of the brewery, although it would've made for a damn good story.

"I'm goanna jump" Carter said to himself as he looked down, a small mass of people gathered below, shouting words he couldn't hear.

"This is it, the end of my life. Goodbye world."

The door to the roof opened, revealing Bonnie Swanson, her entrance causing Carter to turn around and for a moment loose his balance. Bonnie did nothing and simply pulled out a cigarette, causally waiting for Carter to make his move.

"Are you going to be long?" Bonnie asked, almost impatiently, "I've got problems of my own."

Carter raised his eyebrows curiously, for he assumed that Bonnie was there to try and stop him. In fact, it was the exact opposite. Bonnie slowly approached Carter and laughed, for she didn't notice the suit when she first laid eyes on him, now it had become plain as day.

"That makes sense" Bonnie continued, "I'd kill myself too if I had to wear that thing."

Carter rolled his eyes and huffed, "That's not why I'm up here" he defended, "It's complicated."

Bonnie nodded casually and swayed back and forth looking around aimlessly to give herself something to do while she waited. Looking at Carter's feet she noticed that he was standing on a ladder on the corner of the building. One end of the ladder was placed firmly on the roof, and other on the edge of a diagonal flagpole that jutted out at the perfect angle, forming something of a makeshift bridge.

"Really?" Bonnie said in her usual soft voice, "Mine's complicated too. So, tell me, what's your story?"

Carter shook his head, the longer he stood there the more he began to have second thoughts. His hands began to sweat and his knees were starting to shake.

"I can't" Carter said, half stammering, "I can't do it. Help me off this thing please!"

Bonnie stepped forward and stretched out her hand as far as it would reach. Carter meanwhile, inched himself towards the building. When he was within reaching distance of Bonnie, he lunged himself onto the roof, Bonnie catching him in the process just as the ladder slid off the flagpole and fell to the ground below.

"Well that was fun" Bonnie declared sarcastically, "You could've died."

Carter smiled and shook it off.

"Yeah" he replied, "I could've."

A slight pause. The only thing that could be heard was the win as it softly roared through the air. Carter, in an attempt to continue conversation, started uncomfortably.

"So, tell me, what were you doing up here?"

Bonnie shrugged indifferently and gave a small smile, almost as if she knew that on the inside Carter knew the answer.

"Jumping" Bonnie answered directly, "Same as you. I can't stand my husband anymore, I figure this was the best way to get back at him."

Carter wanted to say something but didn't, for he found himself in no position to judge given the situation and that Bonnie had, for the moment at least, saved his life.

"Me?" Carter began, deciding to cut to the chase, "It's quite simple. My company is bankrupt, my respect is gone and my wife hates me. Forced me to wear this by God!"

Carter gestured to himself, causing Bonnie to laugh a bit. At that moment, another figure appeared at the door, it was Jillian Russell, recent widow of Derek Wilcox. Carter and Bonnie turned towards the door, at seeing her they could only think of one possible conclusion-she too, was suicidal. Jillian, at seeing them, tears down her face, ran towards the edge of the building. Just as she was about to pass Carter, the yellow suited man grabbed her, pinning her down to the roof.

"Just calm down" Carter exclaimed, "Everything's going to be okay."

Jillian shook her head in disagreement as she struggled to break free. Carter immediately got off, once Jillian was on her feet, Bonnie began comforting her to the best of her ability.

"Don't be afraid" she said, "We're all in the same boat."

Jillian looked around tearfully, finally landing on Carter.

"You're all going to do it then?" Jillian asked, "Jump?"

Carter nodded, "That's the plan. But…it's not that simple."

Jillian laughed and shook her head, for nothing was ever that simple. It was then that she noticed Carter's suit.

"Any particular reason why you look like a gay banana?" Jillian asked curiously, "What you want to go out with a few laughs is that it?"

Carter rolled his eyes, as Jillian, quickly followed by Bonnie, began laughing uncontrollably. Part of him wanted to jump right then and there, just to be away from them and to stop the laughing. But Carter, a man of dignity, was not about to die over a horrible suit.

After some time, about twenty minutes later with no one doing anything, the three looked out over the town and smiled. Content that this was to be the last hour of their lives, as the sun went down over the horizon and the moon began to rise.

To keep conversation going and to prevent anyone from jumping prematurely, Bonnie started her attempt at small talk.

"So Jillian, what brings you up here? What's your reason?"

Jillian sighed, it was deep and confused. It was one that spoke of many things, things that only Jillian understood. Bonnie knew immediately that the answer was painful, in part due to "women's intuition" and because she gave the same sigh many times before.

"You don't have to tell us if you don't want to" Bonnie continued, "We understand. We know pain too."

Jillian smiled meekly and shrugged, "What the hell?" she replied, "I mean you've told me your problems. Might as well be fair."

Carter closed his ears, he didn't want to hear Jillian's problem, for in his mind, Jillian was too young to be thinking such thoughts, she had her whole life ahead of her and here she was, fully prepared to throw it all away.

"I've got some family issues" Jillian explained, "Everyone thinks I'm dumb, that I'm not good for anything. You can only hear something so many times before you start believing it."

Bonnie was surprised to hear Jillian speak so fluently and without interruption, for she knew her to be scatter-brained and dim-witted to the core. Either this was a front the entire time or Jillian had gotten a lot of education in a short time. Those were the only options that Bonnie could see that made anything in the way of sense, for now, even without an explanation, it would be enough.

A crash from the corner of the rooftop. Carter, Bonnie and Jillian turned around to face a small group of crates.

"Alright come on out" Carter said authoritatively yet with an air of calmness, "We know you're there. Don't worry, you're safe, we're all friends here."

A shifting of movement, a slight groan of pain and a wheeze came from the crates, or more accurately, behind the crates. Slowly but surely, the figure in charge of the noises emerged from the dark corner out from the boxes. It stopped short of the light above the roof door, keeping to the shadows, the only thing that could be seen of it was its silhouette.

"Who are you?" Jillian asked, "What do you want?"

The figure laughed indifferently and looked up at the sky.

"What reason can you think of besides suicide and maintenance could someone have for being on a roof of a building this high at this time of night?" it asked in a slightly condescending, gruff male voice, "I'm here for the same reason you're here."

Bonnie slowly began uneasy, for protection she got behind Carter, Jillian slowly followed suit.

"Carter" Bonnie whispered, "Do something?"

"Me?" Carter exclaimed, "Why me? What just because I'm a man that means I have to do something? Typical. You're just like my wife!"

Bonnie hissed annoyingly, "Well someone's got to do it!" she chastised, "And it sure as hell ain't going to be me!"

Carter rolled his eyes, yet again. Still, Bonnie did have a point.

"You know it isn't nice to talk about people when they're right in front of you" the figure replied, "Do you really want to leave the world on a bad note?"

Carter stepped forward, his suit unnaturally glowing as it reached the light cast on the roof.

"Nice suit" the figure commented, "If you're going for the gay banana look. Personally I always found yellow to be a complementing color but some disagree. It works on you though, you should keep it. That, and it'll be funny as hell when you jump."

Carter pulled out a pack of cigarettes and offered it.

"Got a lighter?" the shadow continued, "Mine's broken."

Carter searched through his pockets finally finding his lighter in the inside right suit pocket. Handing both the pack and the lighter over, the faint glow of the cigarette revealed the silhouette to be Brian Griffin.

"Brian!" Jillian said, obvious surprise in her voice.

Brian took a drag and casually smiled in her direction.

"The one and only" Brian answered, "Now, you mind telling me what you and Laffy Taffy Man over here are doing?"

Jillian folded her arms defensively, for Brian's tone was off, almost as if he wasn't in the same mind set as the others. Brian, reading this in her eyes, raised his paws gently into the air, the cigarette hanging loosely in his mouth and let out a calm laugh.

"I've got problems just like the rest of you" Brian declared, "Look I even came prepared."

Brian pulled out a video camera, set up and ready to record. There was already ten minutes worth of footage, his goodbye message to the family, including a motive and where he was going to be. To be sure that it was picked up Brian told Peter to come to the roof of the building in two hours' time, giving him a decent window to do the deed.

"I don't believe you" Jillian exclaimed, "You're here to bring us down aren't you? Trying to talk us out of it!"

Brian shook his head, for she couldn't have been further from the truth. He had as good as reason as anyone to go, perhaps the best reason, and part of it was staring him back in the face. With tears in his eyes Brian slowly approached the edge of the roof, no one moved to stop him.

"It's funny" Brian said, "I have every reason to, and yet, I find myself…unwilling."

All of them stopped and looked at the moon, it was high, around midnight. Looking down, Carter noticed that the crowd had dispersed, having lost interest and gone home to do better, more interesting things, like watch Channel 5 News or the newest episode of Gossip Girl. Surprisingly, most of them ending doing the later.

Brian stepped back from the edge, to the relative safety of the roof. Looking at the others, this time noticing that Bonnie was among them as well, Brian shook his head sadly, almost in disbelief.

"Something's wrong" the dog declared, "Something's very wrong."

Bonnie laughed, "Well obviously" she answered, "Why else would you be here?"

Brian and Carter laughed in turn, noting and admiring Bonnie's sarcastic brand of humor.

"That's not exactly what I meant" Brian said, his voice lighter than before, "But good point. Why else would I be here if everything was okay? No, I mean something's wrong. I'm getting the feeling that tonight isn't right."

Carter shook his head in disagreement. He had already risked media exposure, for earlier there were a good amount of news vans around the brewery, if he didn't go through with it, the repercussions could be disastrous.

"No" Carter began sternly, "We've come this far, might as well see it through."

Jillian, Bonnie and Brian couldn't help but agree with him there, but still, the fear of going through such an ordeal alone was more terrifying than living another day. Better, they thought, if they all went down together. Just as they were about to approach the edge of the roof and jump, the sky opened up into an unrelenting downpour, forcing them all through the roof door into the brewery. No sooner did they pass through the door did lightning strike the very spot they were standing in moments before. It was a sign.

Soaking wet and dripping, the four of them, standing in the stairwell leading up to the roof, all said nothing, each of them going inside of themselves for a few moments, trying to decide if their hearts were still in the jump.

"It doesn't look like anyone's going tonight" Brian said looking back towards the door, his eyes regretful and wet with subtle tears which he immediately wiped away.

Carter nodded in silent agreement, it was obvious that tonight simply wasn't the night. Bonnie said nothing and began to descend the stairs, fully intent on going home, where it was dry, where it was safe.

Jillian's eyes suddenly lit up, running down the stairs, she screamed Bonnie's name, begging her to stop. She didn't get very far to begin with, but Jillian didn't care, she was too excited to stay calm.

"That's it!" she exclaimed, "The answer to our problems!"

Brian and Carter, who followed her down, shook their heads, for if it was something Jillian could figure out in five seconds it was very unlikely that it would solve their problems.

"Nothing that simple will solve my problems Jill" Brian said softly, "It's just better if I'm gone. It's not dying that scares me, it's dying alone with no one who understands."

Jillian nodded, "Exactly" she replied, "We're all scared to do it alone. So let's do it together. All of us!"

Carter huffed approvingly, it wasn't exactly how he planned to go out, for he wanted to go alone. But then again, why should he? If he was going to die, why not die with people who understood? With friends?

"We're all in agreement then?" Carter began

Bonnie smiled and nodded, "I'm game if you are Carter."

Carter turned to Brian.

"Sure" Brian replied, "Suicide pact it is."

Jillian jumped up excitedly, she was absolutely thrilled that she wasn't going to have to do this alone, it made things easier.

"Now we have to make it official" Jillian continued, "And we have to pick a date and it has to be in the same spot in the same way."

All of them nodded in agreement. To make it official they decided to write it down. Bonnie offered a pen, Brian, a piece of paper. Handing both to Jillian, she began to write the pact.

"We four do solemnly swear that we are up to no good" she began, speaking aloud what she wrote.

Carter recognized the phrase from Harry Potter, personally he found it hilarious, for suicide definitely wasn't something that was smiled on in most communities and cultures.

"That we shall not shall kill ourselves before-"

Jillian stopped and looked around, they needed an agreement on the day. They all knew that it couldn't be an ordinary day, no, it had to be something special, something that people would notice.

"How about Valentine's Day?" Carter suggested, "It's only a few weeks away and we know that it's going to suck. Why go through it again?"

Jillian and Brian had to agree, Valentine's Day for both of them was easily the worst day of the year, and this year in particular for it was the day of the Heart Festival, a new initiative by Mayor West in an attempt to spread love throughout the cold hearted citizens of the community, about the only sensible thing the mayor did in his entire career.

"Works for me" Jillian and Brian said in unison. Bonnie did not answer, she appeared hesitant.

"Bonnie?" Carter said slowly, trying to be as calming as possible, "You are still going to do it aren't you?"

Bonnie nodded, "Yeah, it's not that" she replied, "It's just I don't want any publicity over this. I mean the festival's going to be covered on every news station in the state."

Brian leaned in towards Jillian, "Camera shy" he whispered disrespectfully.

"I'm not camera shy!" Bonnie defended, "I just don't want Joe finding out is all. It's better if he's in the dark. Still, it would be the perfect day to get back at him for all he's done to me. So I'm in."

Jillian continued writing the pact.

"That we shall not kill ourselves before Valentine's Day."

After that the pact was passed to each person to sign their name, Jillian first, then Brian, then Bonnie and finally Carter. Looking the pact over, Carter could see some writing on back, turning it over, Carter read a suicide note.

"Brian?" Carter exclaimed, "Did we write a pact not to kill ourselves on a suicide note?"

Brian smiled meekly, shrugging his shoulders at the same time.

"In case the video camera got messed up or something" he admitted, "That and I guess I'm old school."

It was all too ironic for them to simply leave it alone. Without warning they began laughing yet again, this time louder than before, harder than before. For a single moment, on that stairwell in Pawtucket Brewery, they were closer to life than ever, for a moment, the world and its troubles didn't matter. That moment quickly passed, as the reality of the situation slowly came forward. They did not have second thoughts, for now the only thing they thought was the pact and what it meant. Each of them deciding that they would hold the others to it, make sure that no one killed themselves early or in a different way. After a few moments, they headed down the stairs to the parking lot.


	2. Chapter One: Carter

Chapter One: Carter

Carter's car was having problems and Jillian and Brian decided to walk to the brewery so Bonnie's mini-van was the only form of transportation. Piling in, Bonnie and Carter in front and Jillian and Brian in back, they headed to the shopping district towards the neighborhoods.

"Okay" Jillian began, "Let's take turns, one word that describes why we were up there."

Carter shook his head, annoyed that he was potentially going through the same conversation that he had not just one hour before.

"Didn't we go through this already?" Carter exclaimed, half whining, "I mean honestly we told you what was going on."

Jillian laughed and shook her head playfully, in her mind everything that could have been said on the roof was a lie. Now, that the ordeal was over, it was time for the truth.

"Come on Mr. Pewterschmidt" Jillian declared, "What's the real reason why you were up there? Notoriety?"

Carter had to admit, Jillian was right on the money, bad press and a nagging wife had caused him to drive himself to the roof of that building, still he was afraid to openly admit it and so said nothing, which ironically told Jillian everything she needed to know.

Jillian turned to Bonnie, continuing her cycle of half curiosity and half viciousness.

"Mrs. Swanson is probably neglect-"

Bonnie also kept her silence; it wasn't submissive, but because she simply didn't hear her, too lost in her own world to care about what was going on. Brian, guessing he was next, casually folded his right leg across his left, crossing his arms and tilting his head back. He wasn't about to let Jillian call him out on his problems, for they were many and not altogether proud.

"Cancer" Brian said, deciding against his better judgment to call himself out, "Inoperable."

Carter glanced through the rearview mirror, a surprised look on his face. If he had to guess, Carter would assume that Brian had kept his silence to everyone about his condition, especially to the family, either because he was ashamed or he did not want them to worry, or perhaps it was both. Still, out of respect for Brian's privacy, and that none of them had spoken any further about their reasons for being up on the roof, Carter did not pry and simply stared out the window, watching the rain fall steadily down carefully making puddles in the road.

Jillian, feeling guilty and perhaps saddened by this discovery, carefully placed her hand on Brian's knee, who immediately pushed it off, rolling on his side, refusing to look or speak to anyone, if only to be inside of himself for a few minutes.

Bonnie cleared her throat and turned around, causing Jillian to pay attention and for Brian to lift his ears.

"Where we headed?" she asked, "Home?"

Brian and Carter shook their heads in agreement. Jillian laughed and did the opposite, a small smile creeping on her face.

"Not me" Jillian exclaimed, almost proudly, as if she didn't have anywhere she needed to be.

"Why?" Bonnie asked, "Don't you live in the Heights?"

Jillian nodded, "Yes, but I'm not going home. I have to see Brad."

Brian turned around at this, for this was the first time that he had heard of a Brad. Old feelings began to surface- jealousy, anger, lust and longing. Brian did not act on them, for he found it unfair, Jillian was living her life and for the moment at least it did not include him.

"Who's this Brad character?" Brian asked slowly putting on his defenses as he readjusted himself, "Someone I should know about?"

Jillian shook her head and waved him off.

"Not really" Jillian replied, "He's a deadbeat, part of the reason I was up there. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind."

Carter shook his head, for it sounded like the worst thing anyone could ever do, especially considering that she was seconds from committing suicide twenty minutes before.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Carter said, butting in, putting on his Dad Cap, "I mean what do you care that he's an asshole, you were going to jump remember?"

Jillian said nothing as Bonnie drove onto the side street, not caring what Carter thought of her. As soon as the car hit a red light, Jillian got out and entered the nearest building, a night club. Brian looked out the window, it was everything he had not to go after her. He remained where he was. Bonnie, however, shook her head and turned off the car, not caring that it was still in the middle of the road.

"What are you doing?" Carter asked, "Its pouring rain, get back in here!"

Bonnie ignored him, for she was already inside and couldn't hear him anyway. Brian, for no particular reason, opened his door and walked around towards the club. As he did so he thought about Jillian's motives for jumping, wondering if he contributed to it somehow. In a way Brian couldn't help but feel guilty, which only made his suicidal thoughts stronger, for he couldn't stand the idea of causing pain to another person, much less a person he loved, to such a degree that they were willing to kill themselves.

Carter, seeing that there was nothing else to be done, rolled his eyes and silently cursed to himself as he parked on the side of the street in a no parking zone, not really caring if he got a ticket or not.

Walking in the club, which was packed with people, most of them drunk, loud, and stupid, Carter and Brian found Bonnie standing by the entrance craning her head as she searched for Jillian.

"Do you see her?" Brian asked, sniffing around as if it made a difference, his nose struggling to catch Jillian's scent amidst the alcohol and tobacco smoke, both of which were rampant in the air.

"No" Bonnie replied, raising her voice, "Let's split up, we'll cover more ground."

Carter and Brian couldn't help but agree, it wasn't as if they had much of a choice in the matter anyway, and so they each went off in different directions, Bonnie going towards the front, Carter taking the back room, and Brian searching the right wall. Navigating through the crowds and the music, Carter strained, his tinnitus kicking into high gear, causing his head to spin.

Coming to a door, Carter found a man, easily in his late 20's to early 30's, crumbled in a ball, shaking and talking to himself. Straightening himself out, Carter walked over and pulled the man to his feet. Looking closer, with his ragged hair, shifty eyes and a half finished tattoo on his face, Carter wasted no time in deducing the identity of this pitiful excuse for a human being.

"You're Brad aren't you?" Carter asked.

The man nodded, "Who's asking?" he answered in turn.

Carter punched him in the gut as hard as he could, forgetting where and who he was, for a moment becoming twenty years younger, full of power and control. Carter laughed pitifully as he grabbed Brad's hair, forcing him to look him in the eyes.

"You know Jillian Russel?" Carter continued, "Blonde, dim-witted, about 5'6?"

Brad nodded, "Hot as hell?"

Carter shrugged and slammed him against the wall.

"Brian's going to love you" Carter declared, raising his fist a second time, "Do you know that it's people like you that drove her to jump off a roof!"

Brad's face was one of partial confusion and terror, for he had no idea what Carter was talking about, too focused on the possibility of getting beaten to a pulp to process anything.

"What?" Brad said, half stammering, "Jillian did what?"

Carter spat on Brad's face, trying to be as disrespectable as possible. He considered hitting him again, but decided against it, secretly wanting Brian to finish him off just to see him crawl. Bonnie appeared seconds later, a worried look on her face, causing Carter to look towards her questioningly.

"Did you find her?" Carter asked, switching gears.

Bonnie shook her head, "No" she answered, quickly turning her attention to Brad, "Is that him?"

Carter nodded. Bonnie, in response, leaned towards him and grabbed his shirt collar.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Bonnie exclaimed, practically screaming, "Do you realize what she was about to do, jump off the brewery?"

Brad blinked a few times, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You're serious?" Brad continued, "This isn't a joke?"

Bonnie threw him aside and turned back into the crowd of the night club, continuing her search for Jillian. Carter shook his head pitifully and, seeing that Brad wasn't going to be any help, left him where he was, cowering in his hole.

The sound of a lowly howl pierced their ears, causing them to run and push people aside, until they eventually reached the back right corner. Sitting on a bright red couch was Brian, howling his head off, over an unconscious Jillian.

Ten minutes later an ambulance arrived at the Quahog General, behind it was Bonnie's minivan. No sooner did the paramedics appear did Brian, Carter and Bonnie, in order, find themselves running next to the gurney as two nurses pushed Jillian to the intensive care unit.

"I need a name" one of the nurses said, turning to Carter who was closest, "Are you the father?"

Carter shook his head and gave a mental shrug, deciding that were he to answer yes in order that Jillian were not to suffer alone it would be more than a simple white lie. Staring at Jillian, with her skin pale and sickly, Carter considered retracting in the same moment, however, as far as the nurse was concerned Carter had been stalling and so turned to the next available person- Brian, who stood opposite Laffy Taffy Man.

"What's her name?" the nurse asked, becoming more persistent as they neared the intensive care ward, after which they would have to part ways.

"Jillian Russel-Grif-"Brian started to say, stopping himself mid-sentence and almost reducing him to a blubbering mess. Still, for Jillian's sake if nothing else, Brian swallowed whatever pride he had left, took a deep breath and gave the nurse a proper answer.

"Jillian Russel" Brian recovered, "Now, is she going to be okay?"

The nurse looked straight ahead and for the sake of argument said nothing in the rare event that Jillian did not pull through. This did nothing for Brian, who only became more distraught at the idea and as a result his suicidal need growing stronger, this single event being enough justification to end his own existence.

Reaching the doors of the intensive care ward, the nurses and Jillian passed through without so much as a word; Brian, seconds from following them was stopped by Carter, who gently placed his hand on the dog's shoulder causing him to turn around.

"You wouldn't be helping her" Carter said, stern but supportive, as he ushered them back towards the lobby, "Come on, let's find a seat, looks like we're going to be here for a while."

Brian shook his head pitifully and wiped what few rouge tears that dared to form around his eyes.

"You guys go ahead" Brian exclaimed, his voice broken and tired, "I'll be okay. Just give me a few minutes."

Carter, concerned but not really knowing what to do, turned to Bonnie for support. Bonnie, for her part, smiled and drew Brian in, embracing him and petting his back, causing Carter to stand aside. As Bonnie cooed, consoling Brian, who subsequently caved and began crying his eyes out, Carter, confident that Bonnie's maternal instinct would win the day, turned around and headed for the lobby, remembering a vending machine and a small coffee shop. Walking towards the lobby, Carter's thoughts turned from Jillian and Brian and Bonnie to his own household. He wondered what it was that people would say, for despite his every attempt and every denial that he did not care what other people thought of him in reality he did; so much so that self-exile had crossed his mind as an alternative to living among people who thought little or badly of him.

"The world is too cruel to live in" Carter thought to himself, "There is too much violence, too much suffering, to even consider living in it for another day."

The cold night air entered the lobby, causing Carter to turn around to find Brad, looking panicked and out of breath, as if he had ran the entire way from the night club. At seeing Brad, it was everything that Carter had not to punch him repeatedly until he warranted a hospital visit, would be incredibly convenient considering they were standing in the lobby. As thoughts nearing pre-meditated murder were entering and exiting Carter's brain, Brian and Bonnie, the latter wrapping an arm over the former, made their way into the lobby, trying to find a place to sit.

Brad, confused and disoriented, limped towards Carter, trying to make sense of things.

"What's going on man?" he asked, "Where's Jillian?"

Carter clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, the mere thought of Brad being allowed to breathe the same quality of air as him was maddening; still, at the risk of being arrested Carter restrained himself and gave a proper answer.

"She's in intensive care" Carter answered, "Not that you would care anyway considering you're the one who almost drove her onto a slab of pavement."

Brad huffed and snorted in disbelief, finding it impossible that he alone was able to drive anyone to suicide.

"Come on you can't pin this whole thing on me" Brad defended, "Whatever I did to her was nothing."

Brad glanced over at Brian, who was busy trying to get in touch with Peter, having every intention of staying the night or at least until he knew of Jillian's condition.

"What about him?" Brad continued, pointing an accusatory finger, "He's been with her! I bet you he's done more than his fair share to her-"

It was then that Carter gave a well-deserved punch to Brad's right eye, who reeled back in pain at the same time trying to process what had just happened.

"Did you just punch me in the face?" Brad asked, holding his hand over his eye, afraid to move it in case of blood.

"You don't get to talk about my family like that" Carter replied, shaking his hand, receiving some damage of his own, "Now get out of here before I have to teach you another lesson."

Brad stumbled backwards, too dumbfounded to properly turn around and walk out the door. Carter cleared his throat, causing Brad to stumble further and eventually regain enough sense to make his way out of the building.

A few hours, several cups of coffee, and one boring game of 20 questions later, Jillian finally appeared out of the intensive care ward. Dressed in nothing but an open backed robe and only a small patch of gauze where an IV used to be, Jillian came out with the walk of a zombie and the face of someone who had just been lobotomized. Brian, who was the first to look towards the door, having been checking on it ever since he sat down, could only feel two extremes: dread, at the image that was walking in front of him, and happiness at knowing that she was alive. These two extremes culminated and combined to form the middle ground between terror and joy, and both producing an abnormal amount of tears. Carter and Bonnie meanwhile, although sharing Brian's facial expression of terror, felt confused, each of them wondering how it was that Jillian was able to walk or so much as move and still be in a generally unresponsive state.

"Jillian" Brian said, moving closer, his fear tripling, "Jillian can you hear me?"

Jillian said nothing and only continued her forward progress. As she passed Brian could smell the anesthetic that lingered on her body, almost becoming dizzy as his nose took in every detail. By the time she got to the door she turned around, stopped for a moment and cracked a smile, immediately breaking out into a dance, causing everyone to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Ha ha!" Jillian belted, laughing hysterically, "If you could only see your faces!"

Bonnie huffed and shook her head pitifully, "Jesus Christ Jillian!" she retorted, "Don't do that, you almost gave us heart attacks!"

Brian nodded in agreement, "Yeah" he added, extremely sarcastic, "Thanks for that, we can now add nervous wreck to our list of ever increasing problems."

Jillian huffed, partially insulted and casually folded her arms indifferently.

"Don't be so sore Brian" Jillian defended, "I was only trying to have a little fun."

Carter stepped in, the last thing he wanted was to have a confrontation between them, especially after everything that had happened.

"Maybe now isn't the best time for jokes" Carter suggested, looking around the room, his eyes continuously returning to the coffee shop, "Sit down."

Jillian did as she was told and sat down in the nearest chair closest to the door. Carter nodded in approval and then turned towards the group.

"Coffee?"

Bonnie smiled and reached for her purse, trying to fish out money; Brian shrugged indifferently.

"I got nothing Carter" Brian replied, "Didn't want to make things too easy."

Carter sighed again, this time of a different kind. Just as Bonnie made out the correct change, Carter stopped her with the slight raise of the hand.

"I'll buy" Carter insisted, "What'll it be?"

Bonnie, sheepishly pocketing the money, turned towards Brian and then back at Carter.

"I take mine black" Bonnie answered, "Like my men."

Brian, who couldn't help but laugh at the age-old joke, fought through his chuckling and gave Carter his order.

"Two shots of cream and a packet of sugar."

Carter nodded and turned towards Jillian, who was sitting quietly in her place, her hands resting on her knees, looking as if she had just woken from a long and terrible sleep. Her hair was matted due to the rain and the pillow she had been resting on the past three and a half hours, the makeup she was wearing was smeared and completely useless. She looked defeated and small, as if she were the thing that people pitied for the sake of pitying something. Carter, in an attempt to get her attention, cleared his throat and straightened out his yellow suit, trying to make himself feel qualified to give advice and encouragement.

"Jillian" Carter said slowly, "How do you take your coffee?"

Jillian mumbled something but didn't bother speaking up, in favor of being a tortoise as guilt began to wash over her, ashamed at her joke, despite its lightheartedness.

"I'm sorry" Jillian answered, completely ignoring the question, "Can I come over there now?"

Brian and Bonnie collectively nodded, prompting Jillian to pick herself up and take the empty seat next to Brian, who gently placed his hand on her arm, giving an apologetic smile and at the same time, giving Carter an answer.

"A shot of cream, two packets of sugar, ¾ cup of milk, and two shots of caramel."

Carter, at hearing this, folded his arms and raised his eyebrows in disbelief, casually shaking his head.

"You're serious right?" Carter answered, "It's a hospital coffee shop and it's almost five in the morning, do you expect a 20 year-old barista to remember that convoluted mess?"

Brian laughed and nodded in full agreement, "It what she likes Carter" he replied, "I can't help that."

Sitting in the lobby, each with their prospective coffees, which subsequently kept them awake, the four of them, each of their own accord, began to laugh. At the time they weren't exactly sure why, for no one had told a joke or had been reminded of something funny, they simply laughed for its own sake. It was at this moment that the sun had made its way over the horizon, bringing on a new day and a new year. It was also at this moment that Carter realized two important things- that he was alive and that for the first time he had people that he could call friends. He wasn't entirely sure what to feel or what to make of the change, but he figured, for the moment at least, it was better than being scraped off the pavement.


End file.
